On the June 21th, 2022, as the sun rose, so did new Billie Eilish's EP "Guitar songs".
A surprise from her end, as Billie shared later, the entire promote your song, create cover, film clip thing got tiring and she just wanted to share those songs just as they were. Just as it was in the old times, if you will.
EP is consisting of two songs and a dreamy, blurry picture of Billie's profile being merged into the nature of, what likely seems to be summer outside, or that summer being merged to her. It is unclear where one ends and another begins, the cover carries a bit of that circa feeling, old ass blurry film photo, and on the bottom right it has the names of the songs scribbled in a weird, almost obsessive way.
When Billie started her career, the songs were mostly strong and edgy, with her voice mostly being what is known called "whisper-singing" identifying Billie's singing style. And while the term is not fully vocally accurate, it did stick. The second album that the artist released, "Happier than ever" took a completely different turn into coming of age and dealing with teenage traumas, but also becoming freer, more mature and happy. The entire ascension is seen throughout Billies interactions with camera from the time she started her career. As a rising-fame musician she was often invalidated as being "fake depressed". You can, however, see the progression of her mental state, she also has the same interview that she does every year and the difference is, while steadily progressing, stunning. The changes are further observed in such media as a fairly newly released "The World's a little blurry" documentary, which I did review earlier on this year for being what music documentaries rarely are these days - raw and true to itself.
This is all important. Happier than ever is Billie's spreading wings into the world album, while carrying the message of getting well, the song by the same name in it crowns the album. If Billie's earlier music, while edgy in its ideas, was somewhat soft in tone, here she shows off the qualities of her voice people weren't aware she carried - full blown voice, screams and extremely well conducted anger. Happier than ever was a song that brought attention of many, having quite some live reacts and most of people being heavily surprised at how the song progressed, masterfully written and produced by Billie and Finneas, her equal in music arts and in ways superior in producing.
And that is the vibe that she left us with and then she went on tour. World kept going, things kept happening, and all the emotions needed to be put somewhere, so it seems, having in mind some references, when Guitar songs was released, it was fairly fresh still. And this is where Billie surprised with her choices again. The EP is exactly what it is called - it IS guitar songs. Both songs almost fully acoustic, with the first one, "TV" starting off, you hear basic chords with some minimal guitar picking and the vocals soon overshadow it. The vocal is the one of two of her modes, I'd say. In places it is whispery and where it's needed, it picks up the fuller timbre.
TV was first played to fans live. Something Billie haven't done in, by now, seems, ages. Likely why she has shared the sentiment of just writing a song and putting it out there for people without months-long process.
So she sits down on the chair, her brother by her side playing the guitar, and she starts singing. While I can relate less to Billie's first song, I think there are some amazing things she pulled off with it. It's simple, in a way almost naked to the bones. The lyrics aren't over-complicated, neither are they ludicrous. TV deals with breakup, the stagnation that follows and the feelings of loneliness.
Lets pick it apart a bit.
The song starts with a person not in the mood to talk, sunk in a sofa in the dark, thinking what they could do so they would not get to see their beloved leaving them. It is also where the "TV" concept gets first introduced to us. It starts with, presumably, Billie, sinking in the sofa and watching it. She's on the receiving side, taking everything in. The terrifying emptiness following is written in a way that stops one in its tracks a bit.
I don't wanna talk right now
I just wanna watch TV
I'll stay in the pool and drown
So I don't have to watch you leave
I put on Survivor just to watch somebody suffer
Maybe I should get some sleep
Sinking in the sofa while they all betray each other
What's the point of anything?
It catches my attention at Survivor's reference, pointing out the twisted nature of humans running from their own tragedies to witness one another's, as it is often easier that way. A dissociation, in a way. While we hurt experiencing OUR suffering, sometimes somebody else's one amuses us, if you know it's "not real" and not of someone who we know and care about. It's on TV, it must be scripted and people participate in Survivor by their own will.
But it still captivates me, I feel, describing severe lack of emotional spectrum, a depressive, hollow, empty feeling that you want to fill in with anything possible, because the other option is far less preferred. It's likely we all know that feeling, at least most of us have had it at some point in our lives, whether dealing with loss of ourselves or others. The overbearing desire to feel SOMETHING and to be preoccupied with something, because the other option is to be occupied by our own feelings and thoughts, or even a lack thereof.
She then transfers to talk about intoxicating phase of likely toxic falling in love stories, abandoning the rest of the world only to find out the rest of the world moved on when you've stopped being in touch with them. And here you are, alone on the sofa. Or, maybe they're the ones in love this time. We don't fully know.
All of my friends are missing again
That's what happens when you fall in love
You don't have the time, you leave them all behind
You tell yourself it's fine, you're just in love
The endless wondering, what ifs are strong within this EP, we switch to the character wondering where their beloved one is. Did they see her on TV, she asks? She is now on another end of the same line, connection, frequency. Now SHE is on TV and somebody is watching her. She references some body image issues, which we've known about with Billie, further reinforcing the character is Billie, but in a sense, really, does it matter. It's believable, we've been there.
Don't know where you are right now
Did you see me on TV?
I'll try not to starve myself
Just because you're mad at me
And I'll be in denial for at least a little while
What about the plans we made?
The mood shifts, while the main theme doesn't. The lyrics take a sharp turn after this, keeping on track with TV, and hit me unexpectedly, up to that moment listening with one ear in. It is also then that we understand the song was written recently, and due to that it hits even harder. Voice full of sorrow and maybe even a pitch of disgust, she points out the shallowness of US, as people and consumers.
The Internet's gone wild watching movie stars on trial
While they're overturning Roe v. Wade
Phrased in a way I have nothing to add to, it leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth. Have you googled how the trial of Johnny vs Amber was going? Maybe not. I did at some point, and it was, indeed, at the moment I wasn't feeling too well, either. She doesn't say we don't SEE Roe V Wade, which, I think, makes it all the more hurtful somehow. It points out that it is often due to us unable to bear the reality we are given, the world falling apart in our eyes, that we resort to turning our backs to very same reality and to immerse ourselves in what is truly meaningless. Not only that, we resort to something, that looks silly, meaningless and just solely entertaining, only for it to slowly flow into what makes our world, which we turn from, exactly what it is.
She quickly switches back to the feeling of sinking back into the sofa, alone, all friends away. Which we are likely all familiar at least from the pandemic, slowly falling apart with some and thinning ties with others, sometimes even - feeling loved and cared for, but just mentally checking out. The life is too much, and death is too little.
It is then she points out that she feels she's not getting along with anyone. And the questioning sets in. What if it's me? What if I'm not getting along with people because of who I am? What I do? But then it keeps repeating and quite soon I become unsure it has anything to do with getting along, except maybe for entire nations and within not getting along.
And I don't get along with anyone
Maybe I'm the problem
Maybe I'm the problem
She keeps repeating it, slowly getting stronger, louder, drilling it in our heads that maybe she's the problem. Maybe we're the problem? The crowd chimes in. Remember that live that I've mentioned, Billie first playing it live?
It got recorded and they seemingly slid it into the culmination of the song. First, somebody far away reinforcing the fear of being problematic, growing closer till we are sure it is a huge crowd asking if they are a problem.
Which, on its own, is problematic, within reason and, I think, idea.
For starters, in TV, Billie is on the second end here. She's a celebrity. She's on TV. She's doing a concert. Her fans love her, she loves them. But some sort of power imbalance exists, the fans are, indeed, intoxicated, and she gets the crowd to chant that maybe they're the problem, so easily, almost effortlessly. In a sense it feels she's transferring her insecurity to them and they are gulping it in all they can, and as a mirror returning it right back at her. But it also asks us to look inside, not only towards her. She doesn't seem to judge, she hands the facts, she gives examples of where we've all been, what we've all felt and sometimes - how we dealt with it (or avoided dealing, if you will). She doesn't have a solution either. The entire song becomes an observation, a study on humans, what they create and they immerse themselves in. Supply and demand. And an ever-thinning line between entertainment and reality, crossing over each other way more often than we sometimes give it credit for.
Billie slowly starts to mumble, morphing "maybe" into "baby", the final confirmation that we are, indeed, the problem.
Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I'm the problem
Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I'm the problem
Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I'm the problem
Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I'm the problem
Baby, I, baby, I, baby, I'm the problem
Baby, I, baby, I, baby, I'm the problem
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