In order to reach the stoplight

Now that I think of it, sometimes there is this stop light screaming just in front of us. We happen to be in such situations in our life, that say to us
 "Stop"
 "Don't do that"
 "Don't go there"

So sometimes we wait for a while. After that, we start to believe it is safe again. It is reliable again. Do you believe in second chances? I do. Turns out I also believe in third and fourth chance, and maybe fifth one... I think I could continue to aproximately 150 000 or something like that. I am not that person who turns away from the other person easily. Without giving him a chance.
The first thing, why am I that person? Because I truly believe that if you look at someone slightly better than he is, he actually gets that chance to become better. He knows someone is believing him. It is actually hard to live by yourself, without letting other people believe in you.
So here I am believing in people. And at some point you get hurt. That is natural. If you manage to forgive and live on the same (or slightly better), it is truly beautiful. Forgiving is an amazing thing for both people.
But at some point, sometimes, for the sake of these both people, you just need to stop. If after 50 times of forgiving and living on, and being forgiven, nothing changes, this just can't go on forever. It is impossible.

After such a long period of communicating with that person I feel somewhat emotionally raped. Here I was accepting, thinking, discussing, believing. Every time I woul be let down, I didn't mind only because that person had bigger problems.
Also, you know, these days "sorry" works really good, especially if it is said on phone, especially if your relationship was most of the time happening virtually, in the net, via mail, via cellphones. It gets to the point where we can reach each other anytime. It gets so easy we forget the cost and sometimes start using up that person.

Feeling emotionally raped is not a very favorite feeling of mine. Here you are standing with nothing left, because you accepted and you let that happen. Something is happening inside you, but you don't really understand. You feel sad or nihilistic, or something else, whatever. Where did that come from? Can you even conclude with one event? No, you can't. Where did it even start and then? Where is this crucial moment when you had to stop, but you didn't? Everything becomes unclear.

Where is such saying, that sometimes, in order to be soft for yourself (which is needed for all of your existence), you have to be rude for others.
Now I know it.

I think I know why I adore discussions. It is not only because I hear the other side. Not only because it makes myself question my beliefs. Not only because it makes myself a little more aware about these things, and also, feeling a challenge I tend to think in a more clever way.

The truth is that, I guess, I adore discussions and make them just because... That I truly believe, that, maybe, after thinking in a clever way on these "discussion ocasions" we might one day start doing the same in our everyday lives.

And I promise you will have hard time getting in touch with me. Not because I don't intend to speak to you ever again. Just because people don't see ocasions. Just because someone takes things for granted.
So, if you think it is so easy to say stuff and then apologize, or to say even more stuff - try it again. I challenge you. I don't mind. Feel free. Try me.

After all, it is not that I don't want to talk with you anymore.

Face Global Locally

I notice that these days I am kinda into an activism for equal rights, against animal cruelty, etc.

And what just came into my mind is this:
Today I made a video, exploring animal cruelty case in my hometown, and the video is in Lithuanian. Why? It just now came to me: it is not because I want my grandmother to understand it. It is because most of the Lithuanians can speak and understand Lithuanian, and I am talking about example in Lithuania, and some name just came to my head:

"FACE GLOBAL LOCALLY"

Why? Because that is where it all starts. If you are not travelling at the moment, and have no intention to travel, so your activism is here, in this country, and because of this exact case you are doing this or that. So at first global issue has to be taken care of locally. What can you do in your area? What example can you show?

And if all of the globalists would take some matters as local matters, and instead sharing their ideas for the rest of the world they would pick some local actions, there would be no reason to actually go globally. Everything would be taken care of.

Sadly, sometimes global ideas are not heard by the world. But local ideas can be seen. Examples of you.

Questions

Haven't written in ages, now, have I?
Been busy trying to figure out my opinion about homosexuals (we had a parade in Lithuania last month), trying to keep a balance between family, art and job.

There is less than a month until I start studying Photography, and that means completely new experiences and even more things to figure out.

Last time I did a photoshoot, afterwards, I asked myself: "What kind of image am I promoting?".
One of the most important things to ask myself, since I am in a hate-hate relationship with most of the fashion and advertisment photo's that are nothing but a fake image, which is impossible to get.

What is Photography to me? What message do I want to bring? Why do I want to make a photo of this, but not of that?

Why am I sometimes afraid to take a photo in street?

Questions, questions, questions...