*

And so you kill

You kill excitement when you also kill risks

Risks to be disappointed

Risks to be overcomed

When you've given up on getting something

and there you get it, a very tiny part of it
only a tiny bit of you feels pleasure

and all the other parts are fed with apathy

fed up with all the things that could have happened

with all the things that you've already experienced

all the things that will really happen

if you let yourself out, if you drop all the chains

if you...

how does it work?
How come you cannot enjoy if you once told yourself not to?

Preventing all the loss and damage you would have had to endure

there you get it

the thing you might have desired most in your life

there you get it

and only silence in your lungs 

you hear some kind of fizz

like coming from the old tv

that does not work anymore

that does not show channels

yet still has electricity

it's like you tumble and fall

finally understanding

that tv is the same

it still works but it doesn't

a fizz comes

it approaches

it's here

cannot show

any channels

there is nothing to show