In order to reach the stoplight

Now that I think of it, sometimes there is this stop light screaming just in front of us. We happen to be in such situations in our life, that say to us
 "Stop"
 "Don't do that"
 "Don't go there"

So sometimes we wait for a while. After that, we start to believe it is safe again. It is reliable again. Do you believe in second chances? I do. Turns out I also believe in third and fourth chance, and maybe fifth one... I think I could continue to aproximately 150 000 or something like that. I am not that person who turns away from the other person easily. Without giving him a chance.
The first thing, why am I that person? Because I truly believe that if you look at someone slightly better than he is, he actually gets that chance to become better. He knows someone is believing him. It is actually hard to live by yourself, without letting other people believe in you.
So here I am believing in people. And at some point you get hurt. That is natural. If you manage to forgive and live on the same (or slightly better), it is truly beautiful. Forgiving is an amazing thing for both people.
But at some point, sometimes, for the sake of these both people, you just need to stop. If after 50 times of forgiving and living on, and being forgiven, nothing changes, this just can't go on forever. It is impossible.

After such a long period of communicating with that person I feel somewhat emotionally raped. Here I was accepting, thinking, discussing, believing. Every time I woul be let down, I didn't mind only because that person had bigger problems.
Also, you know, these days "sorry" works really good, especially if it is said on phone, especially if your relationship was most of the time happening virtually, in the net, via mail, via cellphones. It gets to the point where we can reach each other anytime. It gets so easy we forget the cost and sometimes start using up that person.

Feeling emotionally raped is not a very favorite feeling of mine. Here you are standing with nothing left, because you accepted and you let that happen. Something is happening inside you, but you don't really understand. You feel sad or nihilistic, or something else, whatever. Where did that come from? Can you even conclude with one event? No, you can't. Where did it even start and then? Where is this crucial moment when you had to stop, but you didn't? Everything becomes unclear.

Where is such saying, that sometimes, in order to be soft for yourself (which is needed for all of your existence), you have to be rude for others.
Now I know it.