***

What an awfully interesting experience it is to purely hate and love your life at the same time. You don't even feel being in the centre of a conflict, rather just witnessing it from aside. Smoking your cigarette at incredibly cold and wet weather, somehow in the same balcony reading social psychology book and thinking you kinda need to read Freud and you really disapprove of Freud.
Few weeks ago to think I would smoke would have sounded like a joke. Well, maybe not a bad one. But still a joke.
and yet when someone suggests to smoke because of having nothing else to do, that creeps me out. I guess for me it is more appropriate to sit in facebook because of the lack of activities, but, seriously, not ruining these rituals like that of coffee or that of smoking which becomes very precious for me.